The Majestic Plastic Bag

Kudos to Jeremy Irons! This just would not be the same without his beautiful narration:

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YouTube video by Heal the Bay.org

Falling Off the Cusp

Coming as comic relief from all this week’s mayhem and natural disasters is the “news” that (with the use of their more accurate tools) astronomers, in an attempt to help the astrological community become more scientific ( huh?), have come up with a new astrological grid and added a 13th Zodiac sign to help us get more accurate about the stars’ impact on our personalities. Of course, the Internet has upped the volume of this unlikely twain between astronomy and astrology.

I did a post awhile back about my birth date having placed me on the Libra-Scorpio astrological cusp, which made for fun and frivolous dialog in my dating years (the highest value I’ve ever placed in astrology and astrological predictions). But I’ve always enjoyed a good laugh – so I thought I’d run a bit with the impact of the new grid (which theoretically takes the earth’s wobble into account).

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Suddenly, not only am I no longer a Libra-Scorpio cusp – but in the new “more scientific astrology,” I’m not even a Libra anymore. (Makes me feel all out of balance in some mysterious way.)  I’ve apparently fallen backward into the previous birth sign – Virgo. Does this mean the stars – or my stars – have changed so much that I’ve suddenly become someone else entirely?  Or maybe you get to keep your old sign if you’re over 50 and were a Libra at birth back when the stars were all somewhere else.

And who decides when the stars have changed enough that I’m not who I used to be – the astrologists or the astronomers? Very scary, either way. But nowhere near as scary as the fact that both NBC’s nightly news and our local evening news ran this non-story as news, neither with any reference to the “new” astrological schemata as an interdisciplinary jab not a done deal. The local news even included it as one of their three “top story” headliners. (I will give NBC’s Brian Williams and our local anchor people credit – at least they delivered the story somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Williams even had the grace to look embarrassed.)

Since a little surfing demonstrates that mate-seeking is the arena that sells the most astrological “readings,” let’s see what happens with Griz and me on the new grid.  Back when I was a Libra-Scorpio cusp, I was, theoretically, particularly compatible with any Sagittarius-Capricorn cusps that happened my way – and behold – Griz was one that happened my way about 30 years ago.

But now what will happen? At what point did Griz’ and my stars become so misaligned that the outlook for the success of our relationship has tumbled to this level (addition of the new Ophiuchus sign keeps Griz a Sagittarius).

Virgo Woman and Sagittarius Man
The basic personality of a Virgo woman does not match with that of a Sagittarius man. In fact, both are poles apart. He is untamed and lives a life full of excitement and adventure. She, on the other hand, is very serious towards life and prefers to stay away from any kind of experiments. He will not be able to fulfill her needs of security and safety. In fact, he is more probable to make her feel anxious and apprehensive. She believes in loyalty and he has a flirtatious nature. He will grow tired of her predictability and excessive carefulness. – astrology/compatibility

Predictability and excessive carefulness?  Naw, don’t feel any of that coming on. (The fact that I’m actually doing another astrology post should provide some verification.)  Well, maybe I’m a little more careful about some things than I was in my youth – after all, this body’s not quite as flexible or quick to recover from trauma. But I always thought that particular change was the result of normal wear and tear from living many years in planet Earth’s gravity. Had no clue it might be because my stars had completely realigned.

Just goes to show – if you live long enough – the universe will realign around you whether you’re working at it or not. Not to mention that entertainment will become news and news will become entertainment.

Never doubted either of those for a minute.

An Efficient No Can Do-Loop

Using the 1-800 number provided in a letter we received from Boeing retiree medical plans, I made a telephone call this morning to confirm some information I was unable to confirm online, where I conduct most such business.

I was greeted by a very HALesque, pear-shaped tone, male 3d_1001_1032computer voice which asked me to enter the ID number.

Immediately after I did so, HAL admitted sadly: “I’m having some problems. I’ll transfer you to a representative.”

I was impressed and rather tickled that HAL was willing to admit his fallibility so promptly rather than sending me off to a string of endless menus.

Furthermore, I didn’t have to wait for a live representative. Tami came on the line immediately, provided her name and asked if she could help.

I asked if the ID number I’d entered made it through to her.

She said “no” and asked for the Boeing employee’s name.

She looked the name up to confirm she should offer further assistance and repeated her offer.

I described the information I wished to confirm.

Tami replied with: “So this is a Health and Insurance Plan question?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll have to transfer you to someone who can help.”

Uh-oh.

And she transferred me back to HAL – who was still feeling ill.

Calm but decisive.  No options: “Our system is not available now. Please call back at another time. Good-bye.” Click.

Well, at least I was never on hold,  HAL never called me Dave and he didn’t fade out singing Daisy. A quick good-bye is always much better than being ejected off into space or something.

Might be a sad commentary on our times, though – I’m now so well-trained at phone call hassles with intricate, unhelpful menu loops, getting nowhere efficiently feels like a kind of victory.

Hermit Research: Pseudonyms & Tracking Collars

ResearchBlind

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I  looked out the front window this morning just in time to see two grad students fitting Griz with a tracking collar before he recovered from the effects of their tranquilizer dart. Then I woke up. But I know what prompted the dream: yet another hermit researcher found this blog and hoped for an interview with [...]

Ration of Solitude: Sorry, My Cell Phone’s Been Sleeping In

TinCanPhones

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Griz and I have had mobile phones since the days when they were big and clunky. They’re an invaluable tool, no doubt about it – especially for a household with disparate careers, pressing family commitments and frequently a lot of highway miles surrounding it all. Modern-day schedule juggling – a phase from which Griz and [...]

The “EEK” In Geek – Biting Heads Off Live Chickens

ChickenI’ve been periodically giggling about this all day, so I’ve decided to share. When working on that last post, this gem surprised me -

Who’d have thought the No. 1 definition of geek at Merriam-Webster Online would be:

1. a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake

You have to get all the way down to definition No. 3 for:

3. an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity <computer geek>

Ponder the irony.  How’d the No. 3 definition ever evolve from that No. 1 definition? Just curious.

And, silly me. The reason I  looked it up was I thought maybe the EE in geek had something to do with electrical engineering. (Don’t take offense, Griz, the “technical geek”  is much less derogatory than it used to be – more like a badge of excellence, now.)

There’s lots more on the word “geek” at Wikipedia.

Upgrades and The Tao of Geekdom

Computers and associated realms are a relevant part of my life, but not the most significant part. I am not a computer engineer, designer, programmer, gamer, seller, or even frequent buyer. I’m even a bit stand-offish as a blogger and social networker.

But I’m not really a newbie. ComputerTao1Computers have always been a part of my work life. We’ve had personal computers in our household (and household budget) for almost 30 years. Griz’ professional life as an electronics and software engineer was the original motivation; but with the tools available, I was a user from the beginning. (Remember DOS?)

But admittedly, Griz is the computer geek at our house. I am a geek lover, geek observer, geek appreciator and sometimes geek user (don’t go there). Griz and I now run a small online business together (Tools-n-Gizmos.com) which combines our compatible computer skills with Griz’ passion for all things tool.

But to me, computers are essentially just that: tools – nothing more. I don’t really have a passion for tools. If the hardware and software are serving my current needs, I’m content. I never lust after the latest, greatest, fastest. The latest, greatest and fastest are, afterall, available next year – perfected and less expensive. I have never been cutting-edge oriented – about computers or anything else really.

I upgrade when I want, in response to whim or need, but I’ve never considered learning new software or adjusting to new hardware a variety of “fun.” It’s just an acceptable part of the process – like trimming your toenails.

But even with a resident geek in the household, I don’t remember ANY computer change – EVER – going as planned. There’s ALWAYS a little OUCH factor somewhere in even the simple adjustments. This last week, with an untimely combination of personal and business computer glitches, I seriously considered the possibility that most computer professions are actually masochistic – based on an eternal cycle of voluntarily-inflicted and subsequently-resolved pain.

I retreated from that extreme as this week’s -isms began to wane. Now I’m back to this: Computer life  is an accurate, unceasing metaphor for life in general.  It’s the Tao all over again.

Consider the slippery slope of a change or upgrade:

YOU START WITH:
What you think you have,
What you think you know,

And for the unwise, what you think you are relative to those.

Add a little wisdom and you realize all of the above are merely your subjective opinions, but, I digress…

SO (wise or unwise):
You decide to make a change, however minor or grandiose.

NOW YOU HAVE:
What you think you have,
What you think you know,
What you want to happen,

SO:
You do some research.

THROW INTO THE MIX
What you’ve been told will happen (expert advice or marketing “truths“)
What you think you’ve been told will happen (the advice and marketing filtered by your subjective receptivity and interpretation of the information).

AND YOU WIND UP WITH:
What you EXPECT to happen.

So you make a CHOICE to invest your time or money or both in pursuit of those hazard-prone EXPECTATIONS.

Drumroll…………………………

And then you have – ta-da:
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS…

…which invariably does not go as smoothly as you’d hoped or expected; takes at least twice as much time to complete or resolve; develops a life of its own which changes other things you never thought would be impacted; and ultimately alters much of what you thought you knew about what you know, what you have, and what you want.

So, if you’re wise, – you learn to enjoy the process – The Tao, the way, the moment – the joy of the journey. Don’t hold out for the ultimate objective – you may never quite get there. The journey may not always be fun, but it rarely needs to be a struggle either.

Which, of course, must be why many of the computer geeks I know are so mellow, philosophical and spiritually enlightened.   (Possibly a facetious remark.)

Movement Warning

Well, it’s almost September. Although I’m not officially back from my blog break, this post seems necessary as a courtesy to my interim readers and subscribers.

As part of my ongoing blogging education, I’ve moved Blog from a Hermit Dot Com from WordPress.com (hosted by WordPress) to WordPress.org (independently hosted). It’s one of those “simple” computer maneuvers which has turned out a bit more complicated and time-consuming than I expected.

My apologies if you happen upon any of the broken links or other glitches before I get them repaired. I appreciate your tolerance. Your comments and suggestions are welcome.

My mantra for today:

I always remember, I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now – unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future. - Ken KeyesHandbook to Higher Consciousness

Stop Bitching About What Isn’t – Rediscover the Magic of What Is

It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.” – Carl Jung

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I really enjoyed this video of Louis CK on Conan O’Brien though I disagree with Louis CK’s specific admonishment of the younger generation. Perpetual malcontent is unfortunately a cross-generational phenomenon. I see just as many malcontents in my own generation (baby boomers). Perhaps the discontent is for different reasons, but whining is whining.

For me,  crankiness in youth is almost more understandable than the perpetual grouch I see in some elders.  By the time you reach mid-life and beyond, you should have gained some  perspective about life’s cycles and unpredictability. So life didn’t turn out just the way you expected – get over it. Stop trying to control others – you can’t. Stop bitching about what isn’t and rediscover the magic of what is.  This moment is what you’ve got.  Live, love, laugh.

“He who no longer pauses to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” – Albert Einstein

Federally-Funded Academic-Speak: Dance Moves or Feminine Hygiene Products?

While doing a little fact check for my last post, I ran into this poetic gem in a NOAA document:

“Considerable evidence indicates that climate in the Puget Sound region is cyclical, with maxima (warm, dry periods) and minima (cold, wet periods) occurring at decadal intervals[....] Mantua et al. (1997) and Hare and Mantua (2000) evaluated relationships between interdecadal climate variability and fluctuations in the abundance and distribution of marine biota.”

Maxima?… Minima?…Biota? Can’t decide if these sound more like feminine hygiene products or dance moves. I’ll forgive the author if he speaks English as a second or third language. Just so much easier to say:

Puget Sound climate alternates between warm, dry periods and cold wet periods at about 10-year cycles. The cycles impact the abundance and distribution of marine life.

(Footnotes are always great for crediting the researchers.)

In the mid-1980′s, I worked briefly for a firm which held a large editorial contract for NOAA. The task was to clean-up and translate the written work of a number of federally-funded “principal investigators” who were out roaming the Arctic, assessing the environmental impact of developing natural resources (OIL) on Alaska’s outer continental shelf. The original intention of the editorial project was good – compile the research for public consumption and produce a readable book.

I suppose the sub-text was to demonstrate “whatever we do up there, we looked into it carefully.”

The “Reports from Principal Investigators” arrived in boxes of loose pages, some typed, some handwritten, with labeled photographs and charts and sounding a lot like the first climate paragraph I quoted above.  The  editorial task was daunting.

I actually have a lot of admiration for those scientists (principal investigators) who were out braving the elements to watch polar bears and other Arctic mammals and birds. I have even more admiration for the ones that braved the same elements to watch algae grow. However, I sincerely hope we are now producing generations of better communicators in the scientific community – presuming, of course, generations X and Y can break their acronym/abbreviation addictions.

I’ve been out of academic, environmental and editorial loops for awhile. Please – someone tell me the writing has improved! In the mid-1980′s personal computers weren’t very portable or fast, so back then; we were probably lucky to get what we got. Even now,  I suppose there’s only so much you can do electronically in sub-zero temperatures. But in our culture of rapid written communication – e-mails, text messaging, social networking – surely our connected, young scientists are getting better at using written words effectively. And if not, why not?

I departed the NOAA editorial job before the project was finished. My reasons were more idealistic than practical - based on my insider knowledge that the contracting  firm’s president quadrupled the contract costs because he was going through a divorce and needed the bucks, rather than because it was actually costing more to produce the book. (I admit my idealism was bolstered by the knowledge that Griz had a good job at the time.) But some of my colleagues who hung-in informed me later the ultimate sale-price of the book would have to be $350 per copy to cover the editorial work. (Are taken-for-granted cost overruns still written into Federal contracts? I hope not.) Don’t know if anyone ever read that book. It’s probably in a library somewhere.

I have a best buddy who’s a professor at a large university. She periodically contemplates retiring (until this year). She loves to teach, but her recurring complaint always comes down to “Sometimes I just don’t know if I can read another dissertation.” So maybe it’s too early for the better communicators to have hit grad school. Of course, the eternal trail of pedantic academic-speak may be perpetuated by older academicians. Kind of like the 72-hour hospital shifts medical students endure even though it’s been proven hazardous to students and patients. Another one of those  ”We had to do it, so they have to do it” rites of passage.

But there’s still some good news. With electronic publishing, all that bad writing can be made available to the hard-core researchers without ever producing more than one paper copy. And maybe now,  with all the government cut-backs, we just won’t have dollars available for all those unnecessary words.